UNDER PRESSURE

*Que David Bowie & Queen*

So, this week I have ultimately felt pretty damn drained. And I mean mentally drained, not physically (I've barely moved my ass from the sofa). It's now Sunday and the things I wanted to get done this week but have ignored have mounted up be-a-utifully. I'm now forcing myself to actually get SOMETHING done before work tomorrow. As I write this I'm cycling away on my exercise bike as the gym didn't happen (again) this week.

I've found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed this week. A bit unsure if I'm making the right choices and bit unsure about myself in general really. Somedays (most days) I'm so "busy" procrastinating that I become a sponge to pressure. I literally absorb it left, right and centre. Constantly questioning myself if I'm doing enough, trying hard enough and working hard enough. I'm so quick to compare myself to others. Whether it be comparing career, comparing relationships, comparing fitness or comparing money, I question if I'm doing all I can? Am I successful if I'm not "exactly" where I want to be in my career? Is my relationship successful if I come home after a trip away and cry for half an hour because he hasn't done the hoovering for over a week? If I'm on my way home from work and drive straight past the gym (sometimes with my middle finger up) because it's too damn cold to get even dream of getting OUT the car and I'd much rather watch Pointless with a hot water bottle at home -  AM I FAILING?!

I've always believed your health buys your happiness, and somedays it takes me a little longer to remember that than others. Remembering it's okay to feel a bit shitty but remembering that you haven't always felt like that and that the feeling won't last is key. Ride out your moods, but ask yourself why you feel that way, something I've learnt is that if you learn why you feel the way you do you can control your behaviours more going forward.

Here's to a new week! Maybe I'll even make the gym...